Sick Sinus Syndrome

The heart is a mysterious thing both literally and metaphorically. For a couple of weeks after getting the pacer, I felt great and resumed my normal routine of mowing, tree trimming, general cleanup inside and out. Swelling and high blood pressure of late has resulted in a new prescription, blood tests and more appointments with both my General Practitioner and Cardiologist. It is very discouraging as I have things to do, places to go, and do not have time nor the 'heart' for this business. Two or three days on this new drug should bring the blood pressure down. It would be nice if it happens.

In the meantime, dependent adult family members call to tattle on one another, expect financial hand outs, and generally are the victims their own stupidity and poor decisions. They are the result of our poor parenting, genetic bi-polar disease, Godlessness, and a litany of anti-social behaviors. It wears heavily on the heart and gives me a headache.

I treasure my little heart and cling to every metaphor it embodies; however, I am a little put out with the tricks it is playing of late.

Wild Swans
I looked in my heart while the wild swans went over.
and what did I see I had not seen before?
Only a question less or a question more:
Nothing to match the flight of wild birds flying.
Tiresome heart, forever living and dying,
House without air. I leave you and lock your door.
Wild swans, come over the town, come over
The town again, trailing your legs and crying!

Edna St. Vincent Millay