When The Cat's Away the Mouse...well you know

The slippery slope to Christmas has become a bit steeper. One would think I would increase my sliding speed. It doesn't happen. I have known for years that I need a 'to do' list. Without one, I think there is nothing to do. That isn't all that bad either.

I did go to Hobby Lobby last Friday and bought a pre-lit, flocked, fake tree. When I saw the trouble the help guy had loading it in my Wrangler, I knew I was in for more than I had bargained. It was heavier and bulkier than I thought it might be, but I got it into the house and actually got it together. It was my 2004 Christmas adventure; not one to rival cutting a tree in the Black Hills and getting it upright in a pail of water with rocks to keep it straight. But it was o.k. given that I did it alone. Enjoying the satisfaction of completing a challenging task is one of life's pleasures. I am surprised at how much I like my fake tree. It is... well, it is simply beautiful.

He Who Must Be Obeyed is still gone building the greenhouse with a brother. I have come to think of this time as practice for widow-hood. I can do it. I might even be able to clean the garage, given a dumpster and a minimum wage person of height and muscle. But that won't happen while the master of the garage is around. I spent three hours in one corner of it and found some amazing things, three huge trash bags full of junk, and a lot of good stuff. That was a good experience in a way.

I think a lot about my mortality. I suppose most everyone does. I am preparing for a good death; not that I think it is particularly immediate. But I am not going to waste time in meaningless endeavor. I don't think that listening to classical Christmas carols, or reading, or simply thinking are meaningless. The Lectio Divina practice is a gift, and I have learned it. That is something a disciplined mind can manage, but it takes practice. It would be a good goal for me, a good New Years resolution. It is offered and open to anyone at an Mt. Michael abbey not very far from here on Friday mornings, but I can certainly do it on my own.

Do you ask why, my dear reader, why I think on my coming death? Because it is Advent and Lutherans take Advent very much to heart. We are in the dark of December, the days are short, the mentally ill get worse, melancholy Finns get more and more melancholic; and the Henri Nouwen Devotion hitting my inbox every morning have been on that very matter. We must prepare for our death, like our parents prepared for our birth, he states. So I am preparing...for my death, and for the Christ Mass to come. Do I sound a little Catholic? I am, reformed, however, as in Martin Luther.

Life, however, is good and I suspect that will continue for a time. "There is no "after" after death. Words like after and before belong to our mortal life, our life in time and space. Death frees us from the boundaries of chronology and brings us into God's "time," which is timeless." Henri Nouwen